Bridgitte Ofori 
We’ve all been there – you’re casually chatting with someone online or out with friends when suddenly they hit you with the dreaded question: “So, wanna grab dinner sometime?”
Your heart sinks as you realize you’ve just been asked out on a date. And while they might be a perfectly nice person, for whatever reason, you just don’t feel that spark.
The thought of spending an entire evening making small talk and hoping you don’t run out of things to say fills you with dread.
But never fear! In this handy guide, I’m going to share 27 funny excuses to get out of a date politely, without hurting anyone’s feelings.
So next time you find yourself in an awkward situation, just pull out one of these bad boys and watch the tension melt away. Your future self (and your friends who have to hear you complain about the date afterwards) will thank you.
Ready to add some comedy to your get-out-of-date-free card? Sure, tag along!
The Art of Exiting Gracefully
All right, dear escapologists of the dating world, let’s talk about the finesse of making an exit without leaving your date in a whirlwind of confusion.
- Remember, it’s all about the exit dance – smooth, graceful, and no stepping on toes (literally or metaphorically).
- Picture yourself as a polite ninja vanishing into the night – stealthy and suave, leaving no trace of chaos.
- Exit stage right, left, centre – wherever the exit door is, but do it with flair and a touch of mystique.
Now, folks, here’s the golden rule; even in the land of funny excuses, politeness reigns supreme like “King Kong” in the realm of dating decency.
- Polite Excuse Mantra: “Excuse me, could that llama at the window be my urgent call?” – Politeness with a sprinkle of absurdity works like a charm!
- Consideration Clause: Before you whip out your excuse, ensure it’s as gentle as a fluffy bunny wearing a top hat – unexpected but delightful.
- Excuse Etiquette Extraordinaire: Think of your excuse as a finely crafted joke – it should tickle, not tangle in knots!
Ah, the key to a successful exit isn’t just in the excuse but in your attitude, dear escape artists of awkward dates. Keep that chin up, muster your best smile, and let’s turn this exit into an encore-worthy act.
- Positive Vibes Only: Channel your inner unicorn spreading glitter and rainbows – radiate positivity even when the excuse game gets tricky.
- Grin and Bear It: Remember, a smile is your best accessory in the exit fashion show – wear it proudly and watch the magic unfold.
- Attitude Adjustment Alert: Turn that potentially awkward moment into an opportunity to showcase your wit and charm – exit gracefully, exit fabulously!
Embark on your exit journey with grace, humour, and a sprinkle of silliness; because when life hands you lemons, you make a lemonade-flavoured excuse and exit stage fabulous!
27 Funny Excuses To Get Out Of A Date
Now, that you are enlightened on the art of exiting gracefully, Let’s get into the ticket to getting out of that awkward date.
1. Emergency Cat Spa Appointment
“You won’t believe this, but my cat just booked a last-minute spa appointment. Apparently, it’s urgent that Fluffy gets a cucumber eye treatment and a seaweed wrap. Can’t leave my furry friend hanging, Can I?
2. Sudden Amnesia About Dates
“Hey, I completely blanked out on what day it is. Thought it was Sunday and planned to binge-watch old cartoons in my pyjamas. Reality check hit hard!”
3. Squirrel Adoption Crisis
“Remember that squirrel I mentioned? Turns out it’s decided today’s the day to finalize its adoption papers. Who knew squirrels could be so spontaneous?”
4. Overnight Yoga Retreat for Beginners
“I’ve signed up for an overnight yoga retreat for beginners. I’ve mastered the ‘awkward turtle’ pose and now they’re teaching ‘zen rock skipping.’ It’s an enlightening experience!”
5. Critical Netflix Marathon
“I’ve just started a critical Netflix marathon. It’s a delicate balance between binge-watching and contemplating the meaning of life through sitcom reruns.”
6. Secret Undercover Pizza Taste Tester
“I’ve been recruited as a secret undercover pizza taste tester. It’s a tough job, but someone has to ensure that every slice meets international pizza standards!”
7. Emergency Marathon Viewing of ‘The Office’
“There’s been an emergency—my friends are staging an ‘Office’ intervention. Apparently, I need to appreciate the nuanced humour of Michael Scott more deeply.”
8. Urgent Mustache Grooming Emergency
“I’ve encountered an urgent moustache grooming emergency. The ‘stache demands immediate attention; it’s staging a rebellion against symmetry!”
9. Unexpected Modeling Gig for Socks
“I’ve been unexpectedly called in for a modelling gig. Yes, you heard right—socks need love too, and I’ve been chosen as their foot muse.”
10. Spontaneous Travel to Parallel Universe
“I’ve just stumbled upon a wormhole and accidentally booked a trip to a parallel universe. They have flying llamas there; flying llamas!”
11. Last-Minute Participation in International Pancake Olympics
“I’ve qualified for the International Pancake Olympics. The pressure’s on to flip pancakes with precision and artistry. Syrup drizzling skills will be put to the test!”
12. Sudden Career as a Fortune Cookie Writer
“I’ve been offered a sudden career change; as a fortune cookie writer. Crafting wisdom in bite-sized cookies is surprisingly fulfilling!”
13. Spontaneous Astronaut Training Program
“I’ve been selected for a spontaneous astronaut training program. Zero gravity yoga poses and space coffee tasting await. Houston, we have a problem; I won’t be on our date!”
14. Spontaneous Astronaut Training Program
“I’ve stumbled upon the world’s toughest Sudoku puzzle. The numbers are conspiring against me, and I’m determined to crack the code before the universe collapses!”
15. Emergency Sandcastle Building Competition
“There’s an emergency sandcastle-building competition at the beach. I’ve been practising my moat-digging technique, and I can’t disappoint my team of seagull assistants.”
16. Unexpected Role in a Broadway Musical About Cheese
“I’ve landed an unexpected role in a Broadway musical—it’s all about cheese. From the high notes of Brie to the dramatic crescendos of Gouda, it’s a dairy delight!”
17. Sudden Responsibility as a Celebrity Pet Whisperer
“I’ve been called upon as a celebrity pet whisperer. My task: decode the mysterious meows of famous felines and counsel them through their existential cat crises.”
18. Emergency Training for Extreme Hula-Hooping
“I’ve enrolled in emergency training for extreme hula-hooping. It’s a high-stakes competition of hip swivels and gravity-defying spins. My hips don’t lie—I must hula!”
19. Last-Minute Space Mission to Study Martian Llamas
“I’ve been recruited for a last-minute space mission—to study Martian llamas. It’s a groundbreaking study of interplanetary camelid behaviour. Wish me luck on this cosmic journey!”
20. Critical Analysis of Ice Cream Flavors at Local Parlor
“I’m knee-deep in critical analysis; of ice cream flavours. It’s a tough job, but someone has to taste-test the existential crisis of pistachio versus rocky road.”
21. Unplanned Participation in the World Championship of Napping
“I’ve spontaneously entered the World Championship of Napping. My ability to snooze under pressure is about to be put to the test. Alarm clocks tremble in fear!”
22. Spontaneous Research on Origins of Duck Quacks
“I’ve embarked on spontaneous research—on the origins of duck quacks. It’s quack-tastic and unexpectedly quackers. Science calls, and ducks await!”
23. Emergency Hair Color Consultation for Pet Goldfish
“I’ve scheduled an emergency hair colour consultation—for my pet goldfish. It turns out, aquatic fashion trends are a thing. Who knew scales could sparkle?”
24. Unexpected Role as a Professional Blanket Fort Architect
“I’ve embraced an unexpected career path—as a professional blanket fort architect. Building fortresses of cushions and dreams requires dedication and a knack for pillow placement.”
25. Sudden Need To Count All The Stars in the Universe
“I’ve discovered a sudden need—to count all the stars in the universe. It’s a cosmic task of galactic proportions, and my telescope is ready for this starry adventure!”
26. Promised Mom a Call, Can’t Break a Promise Now.
“Mom’s rule is a law which can’t be defied! A promised call must be honoured, even if it means a rain check on our date.”
27. Netflix’s Auto Play Feature Has Me In Its Clutches
One episode in, and I’m caught in Netflix’s irresistible web. Autoplay? It’s like a siren song pulling me deeper into the binge-watching abyss.”
In Exiting
In our quest for epic excuses to dodge drab dates, we dug up a goldmine of 27 absurdity-packed exit strategies. From emergency cat spa appointments to sudden celebrity pet whispering duties, we’ve mastered the art of exiting gracefully.
But now it’s time to put it all together and become the master of your own dating destiny.
As we bid adieu to this whirlwind of quirky excuses and polish our graceful exit moves, let’s sprinkle our future date nights with charm, creativity, and a dollop of humour.
Here’s to turning mundane exits into legendary exits. Now go forth, my fellow date-dodgers, and let your excuses fly wild!
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